Here are some little anecdotes that I want to say:

Why do black women keep their cash in their bra? Yes, this is more common than one would think. One woman actually asked me to turn my head because the bills had fallen further into her cleavage than she thought. I have been handed sweaty dollar bills at two of my jobs now. I didn't think this type of thing really happened. Apparently, it's a black thing. However, there was one white woman that used her bra straps to carry the cookies I had just wrapped up for her. You know, because she didn't want to waste a paper bag. On behalf of the people who will be eating those cookies: kill a tree. Through our conversation prior to her cookie molestation I learned that this woman had at least a graduate degree in Chemistry. And for the record, her bra was red so you know she was getting some later that night. I want to junk punch the women who make me handle their moist crumpled dollar bills. I mean, how am I supposed to focus on work when all I want to do is smell the money they give me.

I was on my way to go see the movie Precious, and I saw a beat up looking Nissan POS covered in bumper stickers. Most were along the lines of impeaching Bush, and not trusting authority. I guess these stickers are meant to convince me to share the ideals these rectangles espouse. If these stickers really are billboards, and all you get from questioning authority is a dented teal Nissan that smokes, I think I will be a sheep. The only way a bumper sticker would get me to question authority is if it were on the back of an Aston Martin. You don't see that often. Bumper stickers on cars that cost six figures. I hate bumper stickers. Junk punch.

Working in retail, I have become a pretty good eye for spotting a person who doesn't mind spending money. Good sign: Nice glasses. Bad sign: Pony tail on top of the head. Good sign: A natural material purse, like alligator. Bad sign: Coach bag. Good sign: Nice clothing. Bad sign: Raiders apparel.