It was approximately 2 years ago while I was staying in Mesa, AZ. I was at dinner with my sister, and I noticed something odd about the host. He was pear-shaped. Up until this point, I had never really noticed a man this shape. I couldn't stop staring to the point where it was creepy. That isn't supposed to happen. He could have filled out a pair of Apple-Bottom Jeans. The other night I saw the movie The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. On my way out of the theater I saw another pear-shaped man wearing mom jeans. What else could I do, except take a picture? Sorry it is so blurry, but I was on the move and had to be sly.

Walking around the Mission district in San Francisco, I get angry. Isn't this city supposed to be expensive to live in? How on Earth do these people survive here? By the looks, most belong in East Oakland. Do they actually commute to loiter? Do they have to buy a monthly Muni pass so that they can stand on a street corner and tweak?

5 Hour Energy drink has a commercial that focuses on the gastronomic repercussions of drinking a fizzy energy drink, belching. Is this true? Will belching make me turn into a chubby balding bespectacled loser who can't even get his shirt buttoned properly? If so, than I shall avoid those damn fizzy energy drinks thank you very much. My favorite part of the commercial is the fine print. This product claims that it won't lead to a crash. The subtitles say something like, "There will be no sugar crash." And then it says something about driving and being cautious. I like to imagine that the same person who thinks, "Who needs to drive safely when all I have to do is drink this little bottle of energy drink to avoid crashing?" Ridiculous. The fact that they had to specify this in fine print makes me want to junk punch someone. Maybe the lady who spilled the coffee on her lap just to see if there was any sort of weird damage.