I am back in the states! Yesterday I was at the bank using the ATM. A woman came out of the building and tells the guard, "Every time that door opens it smells like something is burning." First, it must be said that you need to imagine the voice of a stereotypical aged meddling white woman, slightly warbling and nasaly. Does she think that she is doing the security guard a favor by giving him a heads up? Does she think that her nose has caught a fire while their fire alarms ignore the blaze? So I turn, and mustering all of the fake concern I can manage, I say, "Are you sure you aren't having a stroke?" Her jaw has dropped. "Early detection can make a world of difference." I did manage to keep a straight face, which even I am surprised about. Instead of slapping me, or even talking to me, she storms off to her town car.